There's great danger for the loneliest ranger of all.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Well, it's lunchtime, so I guess I can spare a few to scribble some random doodaddery. First off, why is everybody so jubilant over the ouster of Michael Eisner? I may be the only one, but I think it's a mistake. Comcast ain't gonna save 'em--they're just another in a neverending succession of trophy-hunting companies with a media monopolization jones--and Roy Disney may have been blessed with the name, but he isn't worth the street value of a Donald Duck comic book. People hate Michael Eisner because he's rich and powerful, the now-evergreen figure of the Evil Corporate Elite, but keep in mind that Eisner saved Disney's rodential ass in the early '80s when the studio was completely lost at sea, pumping out bad animated features, dismal adventure epics, and--well--Popeye, where the power came from cocaine, not spinach, and certainly not a coherent script. The Mouse House desperately wanted to be a Hollywood contender again, not an abandoned Cannery Row of stale kiddie flicks flirting on the PG periphery, and Michael Eisner helped them make that leap. He rescued them from the Reaper. And this is how they repay him? He's responsible for the very ivory seats their very Brooks Brothersed asses occupy. They wanted power. He got them power. For years and years he shoved fistfuls of it down their accepting gullets. He did what he was supposed to do. And now, because he stands in the way of a lucrative Comcast offer, it's suddenly time for him to go?

I'll admit that I have little love for Michael Eisner, and a regime change was inevitable. But he deserves a better sendoff than this, and under better circumstances. These guys, their corporate greed disguised as homespun horse sense (the Common ManTM was patented years ago; he no longer exists except to solicit public sympathy and evoke memories of the Good Old Days(R), brought to you by Country Time Lemonade), have dropped him dead center into their war zone without a hand pistol. His captors cackle with unrestrained bloodlust, responding to his escape attempts with just enough retaliatory gunfire to drive him to his knees.

Oh, and there was a plane circling NBC earlier, its banner pleading the studio's lunching executives to keep Ed on the air.

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