It's that time of the month again. Like clockwork, George W. Bush emerges from the Oval Inferno tonight for one of his innumerable press conferences, where he soothes our national qualms and calmly responds--in soft, dulcet tones reminiscent of his father--to reporters' questions with the clarity and commitment we've come to expect from this administration. My sources in the White House have confirmed that he intends to take the intelligence community to task for their reports, and will make an impassioned plea to his global audience to spring for his advanced Hooked On Phonics workbooks so he can finally determine what the hell's actually going on, what with all the fancypants words everybody uses in government documents to come off like big shots.